by: R. Masri Sareb Putra
Dusk slowly falling in the arms of the night. Quiet surrounding. Crickets sound like a vibrating guitar strings. Made more soluble in the natural rhythm in the night.
Slowly I got up. I opened a house shutters. Creating moonlight night had visited.
I looked at Irine, my wife. He slept soundly. While I do not feel a shred of drowsiness.
Encouraged desire to imitate the ancient poets of China, I took a pen and scrap paper. Want light I turned shiny yellow ball that night clouds into the language of poetry. But no! Because the night so crawl up. Were my thoughts wander back in time ten years ago....
My love for the first and last on the beauty Irine purest soul. Although the first probably love it as if it was just a coincidence.
Because flooded with fan letters as before. Ah, this is impossible. Where's my responsibility as a husband and father? This is against my heart.
This afternoon I met an old acquaintance. I almost forgot who he was. He is the son Mr. Budiman who struggled to help you enter high school where I taught three years ago. It turned out that my efforts are not wasted. The child was accepted. Instead, the star that sent students to deepen education in Canada, with the intent to teach after graduation in high school back home.
"This is just an expression of our gratitude to the father." I'm still rang the words of Mr. Budi holding out a white envelope containing the money when he learned that his son had entered high school.
"Aha, Mr. Budiman. Take it back. It should help each other live people. "I gently declined.
I saw a little disappointed too Budiman. It radiated from her face. However, he increasingly urged me to want to accept it. I refused in the same way. So frustrated was the inclusion of the envelope into my pocket.
The conversation had occurred three years ago. And now Mr. Budiman is really present in front of my eyes.
"I heard the rented house a few days will be exhausted," he said.
"E ... uh, true gentleman," I said.
"Well, coincidence. A month ago I bought a new house from the sale of my garden. The house was fairly oke. I want to know, whether Mr. Rony willing to keep the house occupied as well? Would not it?"
Faced with such an offer, I did not immediately answer bias. Dilemma it. Moreover, my heart was filled with compassion for kindness Budiman, virtuous man as the name suggests.
"Why ... why you're silent? I did not ask for rent. As long as the house was preserved, it is more than enough for me. "Mister Budiman there are no strings attached. He meant.
"I'm not going, sir. But must first ask my wife."
When the news that Mr. Budiman offered his house to tell the Irine place, how his face looked happy. His eyes sparkled.
"Oh, God. Thou omniscient God, "thanksgiving burst from the lips Irine. "Bang Rony Pardamean," she said later to me. "We should give thanks to God because we seemed to get a windfall. It's when our rented house was out of his time. Mr. Budiman's house of course beautiful, is not it? "She asked, curious.
Occurred a pity in my heart to hear it. I guess my soul a little torn. Precisely because my wife is not too demanding something I could not give him as a husband.
Irine is to understand how I am. Suddenly I realized that all this was never happy with the material itself. I just gave her a present of two children are cute and sweet. In fact, if only to pursue material Irine he could. Had not she had ever spoken to Bambang, the final level of medical student when I knew him?
By Bambang, Irine could live rich. As a "lady doctor", he could have spoiled life. But no. Irine prefer to live as a lady of letters than the lady doctor. Although conscious choices that led to the edge of a mediocre life. However, it was all done semi piece of love. Love and loyalty to me than anything else. I was just a young man who did not have anything, other than a pen skills. In addition to bearing the title as a freshman majoring in literature of a state university.
Only that, the rest does not exist. Irine was so excited I get to finish college and get to work. In fact, the ideals it was just hanging in space, was never accomplished. I dropped out school because of busy looking for additional income teaching a high school. While enjoying the occasional honorarium of short stories and poetry, newspapers published poems capital. However, Irine never complained. This is what makes me even more love her. Moreover, she never once expressed regret marrying me. She resigned to accept life as it is. Receive me like now.
I shivered. I looked at the foot of the western sky. While the wind pushed in through the window cracks. Cold nights. As cold as the hearts that are contemplating this life. Too cold in the room. Blast of pine leaves and wind.
The moon, that had been dancing in the clouds, gradually falling. In the night wore on, I think the more beautiful scenery. Looming pine trees looked elegant in a dimly lit night loomed. Nature makes it a mysterious mute. Or is it nature, was never told about a lie about the reality of human beings?
"No, Rin, nooo!" I groan. But the weather just heard. I do not make a sound, it was just groaning sadly constricted in the throat alone. I'm afraid to wake the sleeping of Irine.
Indeed yesterday afternoon, Mr. Budi after offer to take her home immediately took me to see. The house is good. Broad and beautiful. Quite far from the hustle and bustle of the city.
"I think, here you will be more conducive to produce compositions," said Mr. Budi. "Besides, the means to write a supporting writing career. You see, instead, there lay green fields that could be inspiration? "Mr. Budi assured me that I live in decent homes. I did not answer. But in my heart I said yes.
Soon it seemed to me a quite luxurious home-style Spanish few yards behind. Encouraged desire to know the owner, I immediately asked.
"The house was neat anyone have?" I ventured to ask, just drive to know.
"Oh, it was the home of a doctor!"
"Wow, cool. Apparently, we'll be neighbors with the doctor. A coincidence, if necessary, medical assistance, not to far away. "
"Yes, the doctor was very popular in the community."
"What's his name?"
"In detail, Bambang Eka Budi Susila."
"Bambang Eka Budi Susila?" I do not believe it as his own.
"Yes, as you mentioned."
Mr. Budiman told that Doctor Bambang Eka Budi Susila just returned from service in the interior of Borneo. And the house that now occupies the former home of a businessman who exports and imports now moved to America.
"Apparently Mr. Rony familiar with Bambang Eka Budi Susila?"
I like an electric current. Apparently Mr. Budi see my face change in the water. Wistful face haunts me. Interrupted hope to soon occupy a new rented house.
No. No way I'm going next door to the former doctor's ex-girlfriend Irine. He was so successful. As for me? I failed miserably. Not only failed Irine happy, but particularly because they feel unable to compete materially with Bambang, uh Doctor Bambang.
I imagined how melting as a man of my pride in her eyes. Even more in the eyes IRIN, my wife. He could still accept me in this state? Is her love fades? Meanwhile, next door to the eyes of his head to see someone who had the luxury of his application he had hue.
Bambang is not an angel, certainly she was hurt and revenge. It could be done by showing off wealth. Let Irine drooling and eventually regret his decision. Or if necessary to destroy household painstakingly built.
If you want to avoid cracks household, means I have to find a new rental house. But this possibility is impossible. Only three more days of our rented house rent out. We must get ready to leave. Can I seek a place for shelter, even though like a shack? No! The problem is, why I could not find another home if the house has to offer Mr. Budi was't fit my taste or taste my wife?
Without giving certainty to Mr. Budi, I immediately take her home. My reason, maagku disease relapse.
Arriving at home, not the grass Irine remarkably cheerful when I tell you. Her eyes sparkled with hope. Filled with curiosity, she immediately asked, "The house meets health standards you bang?"
"No!" I said curtly. "We can not occupy it."
"Why, why? Is that bad?"
"Not bad, actually too good. But I never want to live there."
I enjoy a cigarette sam soe. Then inhale deeply. Billowing white smoke, curling. How to live like this. Rolling, and then disappeared.
"Is the house near the cemetery?" Irine pressuring again. I was just silent.
"Is there a devil in there?" Irine more whining.
"Shut up!" I snapped at him. Irine crying. I stared out blankly. Vacuum. As I recall, during the eight years of our marriage, this is the first time I snapped Irine. And the problem is only minor. Irine wants to know how the new house and who's going to be our neighbor later. Self-esteem as a man and selfish desires I spilled it. It should not in place. I compete with doctors Bambang, not by Irine, my wife.
That morning I slept late. Of course, because last night contemplating life. Actually, no need to ponder. After all, life is real. But no. In fact, I still feel swayed. Confused!
With unsteady steps I'm going to teach. Expenses for the burden of responsibility as a husband and father more so in the shoulder. However its weight, yet must bear.
Once in school, at work I give him brand bag president. As usual, the kids make a fictional essay. But this time there are additional. They first have to do exam questions last year for subjects Indonesian Language and Literature. Was I wanted to sleep in office. Of course, before that, the principal's permission first.
Once home from school and had just put the bag on the table, Irine greets me.
"Mas Rony, we should move today.
"Today?" I stared. "No way!"
"Why not?" Now I know why you want to stay at home Mr. Budiman. Is not because we're going next door to the doctor Bambang?"
"That's what I worry about!"
"You're worried about something that do not have to think."
"I'm afraid you're tempted fortune!
"I'm married to you not because of what you have, but because I love you."
"I thought you were a woman who easily turned for treasure."
"I'm not a woman so, Ron. I accept what it is. I've been quite happy with our lives. Especially after two hearts we were born, I feel I got everything.
"Forgive me think too much."
"Proverb says, 'you can buy a house not a home.' We were not able to buy a house, but our lives happy. We feel like living in rented house. "
Imperceptibly, a grain of water falling from Irine eyelid. He actually said sincerely.
"But how do you know info that the doctor next door Bambang?"
"This morning I accompanied my wife to Mr. Budi there when you're teaching."
"Seeing the doctor Bambang there?
"And are you sorry?"
"Yes. I'm sorry I just now introduce to you."
I reach her shoulder closer to me. I kissed his forehead. Then down to his thin lips. The smell of her hair still smell like the first time I have had romanced.
Irine reply to my arms with his hands clenched. Her eyes filled with tears. He is still the same. The goddess who never cracked her beauty in a black night.
Outside, the leaves rustling pine coupled with the breeze. Strand by strand wave. Yellow fell, fell to the ground. I grabbed Irine's head. I touched her chin with a wrinkled finger.
Thanks to come from Mr. Blake. When the rented house was gone...